Critical thinking – a lot more than ‘what’

Instant Gratification – Have you heard of this before? Let me introduce you to this term that compounds parenting struggles these days. When my daughter was 2 years old, I first came across this term. Every day, at dinner time/lunchtime I would find myself rushing to get food on her plate. She would get extremely impatient until food was served, and I tried hard to avoid a tantrum. However, as time went by, I found myself under tremendous pressure and realized that this was not healthy for both of us. While I was working on a solution to this problem, I stumbled upon something that opened my eyes.

I learnt about how the current generation of kids is growing up and getting accustomed to expecting instant solutions to their problems. They are also becoming increasingly dependent on adults for these solutions. That is exactly what ‘instant gratification’ means, and I was falling prey to it.

I recognized that did not need to fix the problem, but instead, I needed to focus on the process. I did not need to push myself, but instead I needed to teach my sweet pea to ‘wait’. I quickly brainstormed a few ideas on a piece of paper, on how I could teach my daughter to ‘wait’ at mealtimes. Given her age, the options were few, but I did not give up. Since my little one was fond of music, I decided to go that route. I decided to sing rhymes – loud, animated, and loaded with silliness. It was awkward in the beginning, but then I saw my munchkin smile, and eventually, she joined in! This was a simple and effective solution, and all I had to do, was be present and help her get through the hard part.

As a parent, I wanted to do everything in my power for my child and meet her need quickly. But in doing so, I was enabling a pattern of ‘instant gratification’.

My experience taught me one lesson that I can never forget- I must not raise a child who is ‘taught not to think’. I must not raise a child who is ‘taught what to think’. Instead, I must raise a child who is ‘taught how to think’.

Critical thinking only occurs when a child can draw upon existing experiences, knowledge, and problem-solving skills (as per the child’s age) to make sound decisions. It is a skill that does not fully develop until a child reaches adolescence, but the foundation can certainly be laid in early childhood.

Why do children need to think critically?

1) Critical thinking allows the child to compare, evaluate ideas and form opinions

2) It enhances the child’s ability to problem-solve and improves creativity

3) It can give a child more than one solution for a problem

4) A student who can delay gratification is able to plan a carefully considered approach, as opposed to impulsively reacting to a problem at hand

5) It is open-ended and allows for inquiry into a given situation

6) A teen who knows how to think will manage relationships with peers and others better

7) An adolescent can make the right choice in life and choose a career without much identity vs role confusion

How does critical thinking develop in a child?

Critical thinking is a skill that requires higher-order functioning and develops slowly, in phases. According to Swiss psychologist, Jean Piaget, cognitive skills can develop ‘unevenly’, which means the child might make good choices in one situation but not in another. This could confuse parents, but in reality, new skills have simply not been developed enough to be used consistently. Understanding the stages of cognitive development offers a bird’s eye view in this regard.

1) The sensorimotor stage:

a) Lasts from birth to 2 years

b) Prominent developments:

Object permanence (Something that cannot be seen, exists. For example a child may begin to understand that a parent who is not in the same room, has gone away temporarily) and Cause and effect (a child crawls to a toy and learns that he/she can make things happen around the environment).

c) How could a parent support a child in this stage?

By permitting exploration through touch, smell and taste keeping safety in mind.

2) The preoperational stage:

a) Lasts from 2-7 years

b) Prominent developments:

Language skills, communication skills, more advanced thoughts, and feelings. Children in this stage are concrete thinkers but are unable to see another’s perspective clearly and may not utilize abstract thinking. However, they are able to utilize thoughts from the past and begin to think about the future.

c) How could a parent support a child in this stage?

By creating opportunities to improve his/her language skills through enhanced vocabulary and help organize his/her world in a concrete way. The parent must consider the child’s limitation on advanced problem-solving skills, and exercise expectations accordingly.

3) The concrete operations stage:

a) Lasts from 7 – 11 years

b) Prominent developments:

Children begin to understand other’s perspectives and think more logically and rationally. Problem-solving abilities improve and the need for independence develops.

d) How could a parent support a child in this stage?

By encouraging independence and allowing the child to make decisions using advanced thinking capabilities. The parent could talk to the child and ask more questions that require the child to ‘think’. One needs to be less critical and more supportive.

4) The formal stage:

a) Lasts from 11 years and develops as the child grows.

b) Prominent developments: Increase in logical reasoning, math skills, and abstract thinking. Application of logic and science to hypothetical situations to deduce conclusions. Advanced problem-solving skills such as planning, prioritization, considering outcomes of their actions, and ability to predict ahead of time.

c) How could a parent support a child in this stage?

By being a good listener and being non-judgemental.

So, how does a parent foster critical thinking?

1) Teach your child to ‘wait’:

If a child is always the primary focus, and his/her needs are constantly met, could you blame the child for not being able to wait? Probably not. Teaching children to wait is key to delayed gratification.

My 3-year-old often requests me to ‘come and see her work (painting, creation of blocks, craft, etc)’. Without dismissing her request, I politely say, “You look eager and excited to show me what you’ve done. I am going to be with you as soon as I finish doing the dishes”. At her age, waiting is not easy. I remember not to keep her waiting for more than 5 minutes.

The younger your child, the shorter is the waiting period. For a 9-month-old, counting, “one, two, three…” before an activity can reinforce waiting. Taking turns while rolling the ball back and forth is also a great way to instill patience. Sharing a reason why the child may have to wait, and providing an approximate timeline kills anxiety in the child. I often say, “I’ll take you to the park right after nap time” or “Let’s read that book after you have eaten your snack” to give a sense of time.

Older children can be involved in planning chores, family activities, and scheduling with careful planning so they become aware that waiting is essential to accomplish goals and a lot of forethought goes into achieving the same. This can delay gratification and promote patience.

2) Ask open-ended questions:

Open-ended questions are those that prompt the child to think and often do not have one correct answer. Questions that begin with, ‘why’, ‘how’, ‘what’, and ‘who’ leave room for creative thinking.

When my little girl dressed up as tooth fairy once, I asked her “Why do you have wings, tooth fairy?” to which she replied, “Because I come from very far and I have to be quick”. That allowed me to prod deeper and I could strike up a meaningful conversation with her thereafter. She told me all about how she collects teeth and stores them. I even discovered that she helps the Easter bunny collect eggs!

3) Encourage play-based learning in your little ones:

The benefits of play have been recognized by science. When children are engaged in purposeful play, they think, compare, communicate, discover, and create.

My daughter officially called herself a ‘balloon tennisser’ when she began to play with a balloon in our drawing room and called the game, ‘balloon tennis’. Intrigued by the name, I enquired further and learnt that because the balloon is light and filled with air, it is easy for her to bounce it on the palm of her hand. She then experimented using a tennis racket and discovered that she could direct the balloon better when she used a racket instead of her palm. In the 30-minute intense play, I was treated to a truckload of learning and critical thinking that I thoroughly enjoyed being a part of.

After her play, I grabbed the opportunity to talk about what could happen if the balloon was filled with water instead of air, helium gas, etc. I overheard her telling her imaginary friend hours later all about her learning and discovery during an enriching game of ‘balloon tennis’.

4) Allow room for independence:

When your child brings you a problem, your child is likely feeling anxious about it. Instead of fixing the anxiety, if you provide gentle guidance and allow your child to consider possible solutions, he/she may learn something new.

Some time ago, I created a marble maze out of cardboard for my daughter to play with. This morning she discovered that some parts of it were ripped. Her first reaction was that of confusion, to which I explained that it may have ripped in the storage and said, “Do you think you could still use it?” She paused and decided to lean it against one of her sturdy toys. Then she dismantled the ripped part and used it as if it were new. I admired her adaptability and her ability to consider alternative methods. Leaning it against support, made the marbles stick in their path and she had to position it upright to get it to move. She tried improvising with speed and got the marbles moving. She had cultivated new learning, without any interference from me.

5) Avoid parent traps:

Darlene Sweetland, a clinical psychologist in her book ‘Teaching kids to think’ suggests the concept of ‘parent traps’. She defines the parent trap as a situation in which parents are drawn to solve problems for their children or rescue them in a way that ultimately stifles growth opportunities. Five most common parent traps are;

a) The Rescue trap: Parents rescue their children from their problems.

b) The Hurried trap: Parents meet their children’s needs quickly, not requiring them to be patient and wait.

c) The Pressure trap: Parents push children forward too fast.

d) The Giving trap: Parents give children something without them earning it.

e) The Guilt trap: Parents react impulsively because they feel guilty or are unsure.

6) Avoid rescuing your children from life and academics:

Children have several natural opportunities throughout their day to develop confidence in trying to do new things. Allow them to struggle, while being there for them. Washing hands, self-feeding, dressing oneself, wearing shoes and socks, social skills (making eye contact, sharing and maintaining a two-way conversation), problem-solving skills (puzzles, pretend play, exploration) are all examples.

a) Provide verbal guidance while dressing oneself or washing hands etc

b) Arrange play dates for young tots. Older children can set up their own playdates, and you need to then provide the necessary support

c) Avoid completing your child’s homework/project

d) If your child forgets to work on an assignment, try to avoid rushing to his/her rescue and instead let it be a lesson in time

e) Ask questions and plan with your child about how the child could approach the same problem differently the next time

f) Allow children to experience the natural consequences of their actions and choices.

7) Read to your child:

a) Add a little conversation to every book you read with your child. Talk about how the story in a book connects to his/her real-life experience. When we read one of our all-time favourites, ‘Have you filled a bucket today?’ by Carol McCloud, we talked about how my sweet pea helps around the house, uses polite language, and many such instances from her life where she displays kindness.

b) It is important for your child to know what is happening in a story, but it is crucial for him/her to understand ‘why’ it is happening. Acting out a story often helps the child understand the viewpoints of the characters and what motivates them.

c) Problem-solving while reading is a good way to build analytical skills. When I read to my little girl, we pause and study a picture before we read the text. I ask, “What do you suppose is happening here?” or “I wonder why the chicken was afraid….”. Think aloud comments like that urge the child to understand the problem before finding possible solutions.

d) Children who are prompted to predict what may happen in a story next, develop the habit of finding meaning in the text which is the essence of reading. When I asked my little girl “what do you think Red riding hood will do next time?” she responded by saying, “She will not go to her granny’s house through the bunny forest”.

8) Encourage children to find patterns in the environment:

Identifying similarities and differences in objects encourages critical thinking in young children. When we go on drives, we ask our little girl, “Can you find 2 things that are green in colour?” or “Can you find 2 objects that begin with the letter ‘b’?

9) Help children evaluate information:

Too much information can dissolve the key message. When children learn to distill the important information from a whole bunch of stuff, they learn to contrast and compare data. At times simply narrating what information there is, provides clarity to a child. Be open to discussion if required.

10) Engage older kids in debates on social and global issues:

General knowledge and being aware of what is going on around them enables children to keep up with changing times.

11) Last but not the least, model critical thinking skills yourself. Thinking aloud in your own life in front of your child, helps them see how you do it.

Curiosity comes naturally to children. If this curiosity is fuelled with the right inquiry and direction, it can make a meaningful thinking process possible in a child’s life. In today’s world where an answer to any question is just a click away, it is easy for a child to avoid exercising his/her own brain. To raise confident, thoughtful, and independent thinkers, critical thinking is imperative. Join me in my next blog on another interesting topic.

References

1) Sweetland, D., & Stolberg, R. A. (2015). Teaching kids to think: Raising confident, independent, & thoughtful children in the age of instant gratification. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks.

2) Hirsh-Pasek, K., Golinkoff, R. M., & Eyer, D. E. (2008). Einstein never used flash cards: How our children really learn--and why they need to play more and memorize less. New York: MJF Books.

3) Promoting critical thinking in early childhood. (n.d.). Retrieved July 3, 2020, from http://circle.adventist.org/files/jae/en/jae201678031404.pdf

4) (n.d.). Retrieved July 03, 2020, from http://www.hanen.org/Helpful-Info/Articles/More-Than-ABCs---Building-the-Critical-Thinking-Sk.aspx

5) Price-Mitchell, M., & Price-Mitchell, A. (2019, February 25). Critical Thinking: How to Grow Your Child's Mind. Retrieved July 03, 2020, from https://www.rootsofaction.com/critical-thinking-ways-to-improve-your-childs-mind-this-summer/

6) Halton, M. (2019, May 04). Critical thinking is a 21st-century essential - here's how to help kids learn it. Retrieved July 03, 2020, from https://ideas.ted.com/critical-thinking-is-a-21st-century-essential-he